In his thought-provoking and controversial new book, HIS DOUGH, HER COOKIE: The Black Woman’s Guide to Love and Marriage in the Age of Independence, author and activist Torri Stuckey asserts that the greatest deed a black woman can do for her community is to marry a black man. Through a combination of data, statistics and anecdotal evidence, Stuckey presents a case for the expansion of black household wealth and economic sustainability via a traditional family dynamic—with black women at the core of the transformation and of the home. Part self-help guide, part personal confessional, part social manifesto, HIS DOUGH, HER COOKIE is Stuckey’s clarion call for restoring and preserving the black community.
In order to begin the social restoration Stuckey says is paramount for the very survival of black people, he identifies the culprit he says is responsible for undermining progress and stability: The Independent Black Woman.
“There are a plethora of issues in the black community, which all point back to black women’s independence and that independence developed through liberalism, feminism and social equality,” he notes. “Black women as a whole have relinquished their power and rightful place in black society through the birth of the Independent Black Woman, a financially stable woman who provides for herself and is proud of her ability to stand alone. As a result, there has been a subsequent death in the institution of marriage—creating a new social (dis)order. The black community is deteriorating due to this social dysfunction.”
Outspoken and provocative with a no-holds-barred attitude, Stuckey says his goal is to ignite a national dialogue about the erosion of the black family which, according to him, is caused in part by the preconceived notions many black women have about marriage. “Unless this issue is addressed, there eventually may be no black community left to salvage,” he notes. “To put it plainly, black women are losing as they attempt to outplay man at his own game rather than working to restore the estranged relationship. We can either accept this reality or suffer the consequences of ignoring it.”
Stuckey has made empowerment and inspiration the cornerstones of his work, particularly with teens and young adults. A graduate of Northwestern University, where he served as captain of the football team, Stuckey has appeared as a guest on several media outlets where he has outlined his message of personal responsibility and hard work. As the founder and facilitator of a teen outreach program that was adopted by the Chicago public schools and as a husband and father of three children, penning a book on relationships was the last thing Stuckey thought he would ever do, particularly since he felt the marketplace was saturated with titles exploring male-female dynamics. But as he continued to observe what he identified as a devastating trajectory in the African American community—the combination of fatherless households and the loss of economic stability—Stuckey realized the prosperity he desires for the community, both socially and economically, is rooted in the relationship between black men and women. Reflecting on personal experiences and those of friends and acquaintances, it was at this point that he made the decision to closely examine black relationships and specifically, the role African American women should play in rebuilding the black community.
About the Author
Torri Stuckey was born in Robbins, IL. The youngest of three children, he was a standout talent in football and graduated from Northwestern University in 2004. He is the author of When the Music Stops: A Screenplay and Impoverished State of Mind: Thinking Outside da Block. He lives in the Houston area with his wife and children.
Title: HIS DOUGH, HER COOKIE:
The Black Woman’s Guide to Love and Marriage in the Age of Independence
Author: Torri Stuckey
Cover Three Publishing
Publication Date: February 1, 2017