To commit or not to commit, that is the question…

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(Last Updated On: May 23, 2014)

I have confessions that I listen to in the mornings.  I have them in several categories, however today I am referring in particular to my confessions about “commitments.”  To commit, to me, means to “cut off all other options.”  The same way a man and woman are to cut off all other options when they decide to marry each other.

Yes, I know it doesn’t always happen, but…In my confessions I say things like, “ My God, my family and my friends can always count on me to say what I mean and to mean what I say…every time I fulfill my commitments, it makes me stronger for the next one… I always keep my commitments to myself, everything good that I want, that I do not have now, is on the other side of a chasm called risk, and the only bridge to get me there is commitment….”

This weekly column in Empower Magazine is the result of a commitment.  The things I share with you below are things I do, not all the time, but I’m much more consistent and make many fewer commitments because I have to keep my word.

Do you make commitments with forethought?  Or do you just say yes, because it is easier than saying no?  Being able to “say no” when necessary is very important.  I know people who say yes, but then wait for you to figure out that they really meant no.  And how do you figure that out?…they don’t show up, they don’t do what they said they would, they don’t help when promised, when it’s time, they give an excuse.

Having personal integrity, starts with telling yourself the truth.  If we are not truthful with ourselves, it is doubtful that we can be truthful with someone else.  No, I have not arrived, however, the more I practice, the better I get.  Join me in this practice and let me know what you think.

Here are 5 ways to start your truth journey.

1.    Remember that a commitment cuts off all other options and takes us further than we planned to go, keeps us longer than we planned to stay and costs more than we planned to spend.  So make them thoughtfully.

2.    Commit to pause before you say “YES” to anything and think about it.  Even a 5 to 10 minute pause, can do wonders.

3.    Ask for time: ask if you can get back with the person so that you can evaluate your current commitments and determine if you will be able to give your all to this (whatever) for as long as it requires.

4.    Only commit to people and things that are consistent with who you are and your life goals.

5.    Don’t be afraid to say no.  It will save both you and them heartache in the long run.


About Estell Porter Local author, Estell Porter, shares tips and advice for simplifying every aspect of your life in her new column “Simplify Your Life.” Join her weekly on to discover ways to cut costs, organize your life or find a simpler way to do just about anything.

To commit or not to commit, that is the question…